Time

I’m stealing time

A few more moments

Trapped in a box I made

For living and dreaming

And I am awake

While your eyes are watching mine

This time for now as the minutes tick by

Into tomorrow another time begins

Where the suffering is real again.

the time where I want to die again.

And I remember this time now in the

cold and Frozen winter The Stolen

Moments I kept you close and I’ll

treasure them like tiny diamonds

hidden in the snow.

 

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Damn me

And tomorrow I’ll just hate him all over again

confused by the words he whispers in my ears

and the voice inside my head insisting she’s right

and my reality is a broken shattered piece of glass

an illusion of delusion I can’t escape

two voices and I’m at war

two different stories being told

and as time flies by I grab hold

and its slowing down and ticking faster

and there’s a third voice creeping from my chest

and I’m opening up my mouth and I’m chanting it

over and over until I’m screaming the words

be free

Be Free

Be Free

BE FREE

 

 

Slightly pissed with your ignorance

I don’t generally make it a habit to say what I feel about certain hot topics.  But the hate I’ve been seeing is ridiculous and I have to.  I shouldn’t.  I really shouldn’t.  But I’m as human as the rest of you.  Unless you’re a really cool cyborg.  That would be awesome as shit.  Cuz, ya know, Cyborg!!!

 

 

 

 

 

How fucking awful

to pay homage

to shadows left in concrete

lives vaporized

left incomplete

innocent children

melting and running

agonized and burnt

confused and hurt

to bereave and mourn

and have the balls to say

“I’m sorry”

from all of us

to all of you

To once and for all

not make it about me

or you or any of them

but all of us

and how it shaped and formed

life as we know it

on this tiny blue

earth.

So for fuck’s sake

have a fucking fit about

how selfish we’ve always been.

When we should be holding hands

we’re still spitting and hurling

insults and injuries

about WARS that don’t make sense.

Where are we now

and how much closer could we be

without this ego

this pride

this damage we have caused?

This rift and tear

where humanity has died

and no one wins

on either side.

I’m sorry too

and if you’re not

I say fuck you.

 

 

I apologize if this offends.  Actually I don’t.  I feel bad for them all.  Not just one or the other.  I read The Butter Battle Book by Dr. Seuss.  Amazing book.  Taught me all I ever wanted to know about war.  The older I get, the better I get at looking at things from different angles.  At least I hope I’m getting better.  With knowledge at our very fingertips, I feel it’s important to find compassion and learn to forgive, this life is entirely too short.

Flight

Completely intertwined

wrapped up

strangling on a vine

Time was running out

she couldn’t breathe

and yet she fumbled

tried to break free

the danger was near

and time was never on her side

She could hear the voice

that broke through the icy darkness

“Don’t give up now, you’re so close.”

Sweat running and muscles aching

she couldn’t stop and couldn’t quit

The faster she went and the farther she ran

she heard them nearing

“we’ve nearly caught her”

“just a few moments more”

“it will be too easy”

these new voices louder and deafening

she listened for the one

the one her heart beat for

her own voice cried out

“how much more?!”

and silence reigned for a moment

not even a breath

no drumming heartbeat

her vision narrowed

and she focused with all her might

but the one was silent

and as the tear slipped down her cheek

she was captured

sick with defeat

breathing in deeply she fought for control

but the anger built up

a raging inferno that blazed through her skin

but the demons who held her were immune

for they were her kin

The voice of the one whispered through her mind

“rest well, for tomorrow we begin again.”

She squirmed and she wriggled

until with sheer determination she was free

and with her soul going up in flames she yelled

“fuck this and fuck you and fuck them!!!  I’m done with this game.

There’s no way to win!!!”

And as the demon brothers scrambled to reach her

she spread her dark wings and ascended above them

going higher and higher til she reached the sun

and dove straight through to the heart

and hid until she could see the moon

she waited there for lifetimes and eons, and never once

in her refuge, her haven did she dare leave

to hear the voices that called her

and the one she would follow blindly

even to her own torture, a willing slave.

 

A fury

I’ve been thinking about sacrifice  lately

and how we cut our noses off to spite our face

and we trade pleasure for pain

and if we reverse it and flip the coin

it still feels the same

and why would I give up one for the other

when time is spent without change

the sun rises and the sun sets and

no matter where I stand my heart still breaks

one side there’s pain of loss and on the other

there’s pain of gain and still I wait

moving forward or standing still or slipping back

down that muddy hill the sacrifice makes no change

this sacrifice is nothing without gain

and how do I measure if I’ve won or

if I’ve lost this battle in futility

and where are the graphs that show I’ve made

any progress and my goal is still attainable

and I’m standing in this corner and my forehead

is pressed tightly to this wall and I’ve got my eyes

shut tight because I can’t see what I need and

I’m trying to listen to my heart and find my will

to press on in any direction at all.  But I feel the ledge

beneath my feet and I know around that corner there

are no answers and inside my heart its dark and twisted

with denial and hope and I’m slipping off the side and there

is no rope.  And further down there is no net to catch me and there

is no end and it keeps going and I could fall into forever.

Nothing but questions and doubts and somewhere here and there

stands a truth but they’re too far out to grab onto.

Is this the choice I’ve made, to live inside this purgatory and

question my existence and find no meaning and no path?

If only the stars could tell me, and which one holds the light

which I seek, there are too many to count and I despair

the answer that is there, will be the answer I have denied.