Can I wear this just a bit longer?

Tears as vibrant as a slash of red lipstick

Sorrow as blue as the sky

Broken pieces lying on the floor?

Can I wear it with a dignity deep as a river

A burn of sun-kissed skin

An echo of a story old as time

Cold fingers trailing the fence line

Can I stay here just a bit longer

Where love was a smile

Just another song on the radio?

A whisper of how we used to touch?

Can I stay inside the lie I believed

A forever pouring out of me

The night sky spinning around me?

Can I stay here for just a bit more

Waking in your favor

Sighing I love you tomorrow past my lips?

I’m letting it pour out of me

But there was so much

So much more

So let me sit, just a minute more

Reflections of bruises

All I have left.

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Don’t cry

IMG_0295.JPGI’ve been sad for a while now.  I haven’t wanted to talk about it.

I’m insecure as fuck.  I’m filled with doubt.

What I want most I’m most afraid of.

Right now I’m so afraid of everything.

I’m feeling so alone, and I’m terrified of feeling this.

And its in the way he didn’t make love to me,

or kiss me hard before he left.  Just gone with barely a goodbye.

And he’ll tell me I didn’t deserve it.

And I’ll rationalize that insanity until it makes sense.

Just try to make sense.

but I know it doesn’t make sense.

It never will.

I sobbed and I cried the last time he was inside of me.

I knew it was the last time and that he wouldn’t touch me again.

He never said a word.

While my soul was fracturing, he stayed silent and distant.

There was nothing passionate about the last moment,

before he disappeared and left me.

I think I’m saddest about that.  It was nothing.

And he told me not to cry because that would embarrass him.

I said I wouldn’t.  And he smiled and left.

I’m so confused and uncomfortable within this skin.