No more magic

I’m at that point of exhaustion

numb in every corner of my heart

and my mind wants to remember

everything we could have been

side by side through thick and thin

dragons playing hide and seek behind the stars

rain turning to ash as we bathe in fire

sleeping curled up like yin and yang

but you had the heart of a coward

and as the words slipped off my tongue

you planned your great escape

Houdini with the key to my heart

and in no time at all you were gone

disappearing with the rising sun

a deceiver and a thief

I’m numb and I’m cold

hiding behind a spiral galaxy

desperately trying to kill the fire

coat it up in thick layers of ice

just trying to survive the night

the numb a welcome relief

and I’m done feeling the pain

of my soul split in two

I’m done being the fool for you

I am the fierce and mighty dragon

and you?

You are the weak and brittle branch

I crunch beneath my feet.

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Missing him

A girl who waits in the night

to hear that car door slam

and her pulse is picking up the beat

as his steps sound brisk in the gravel

and her breath is shallow

as his key scrapes against the lock

eyes dilate and he’s inside

and she’s catching her lip with her teeth

as he shed’s his skin of work and civilized

and she’s wet with thighs clenched tight

as his shoes are being littered across the floor

and then he’s standing there

setting her on fire with his burning stare

minutes pass and then he’s across the floor

heartbeats crashing wildly, a storm torn gale

and his body is covering hers

his lips are claiming hers

and his hands are holding hers

and he’s killing her

and she’s dying

and he’s her home and haven

when he’s moving inside her

taking her higher in the night

she opens her mouth with a scream

pure delight and she’s tangled up

hung up and drenched in her man.

Empty Night

the girl awoke, sometime in the middle of the night.

She awoke to sweaty sheets and cold air,

and the empty bed.

The girl wandered around the empty rooms,

empty.

And when the girl stepped outside for a smoke,

she listened to the empty night.

And she was awake.¬† More awake than she’d been.

Leaving the dreams of girlhood behind.

Awake and lonely in the night,

the girl forgave the lie the earth had gave her.

Lies of passion that warmed her blood.

The girl forgave hope, for ever being constant.

She forgave herself for dreaming for so long.

She forgave the words the people spoke.

She forgave the world for telling her of love.

For in the empty cold aired night,

awake and silent, she listened to her heart.

The girl listened to the echoes of the lies she had told herself.

The lies she wrapped around herself and colored her vision.

And she stepped away from the hazy daydream world.

The girl looked into the eyes of when she became.\

Abandoning the warmth and the light,

she let the ice and cold cover her and fill her lungs.

Standing and staring into forever, the dark her home.

 

Fairy tale

And the girl was left there in the night

dreaming and wishing and whispering prayers,

A tiara of fantasy adorned her noble head

and the starlight reminisced and wept throughout her soul.

and out there in the night, the wind blew kisses

landing softly on her pretty lips.

but it was the moonlight that gave her away

as it swam and shimmered glowing in her tears.

And somewhere there were eyes empty and cold that watched

and she prayed the walls would disappear,

but the shadows grew longer as the walls grew higher

and she shivered in the cold where she made her wishes

but the man remained still and cold, only watching.

And when she grew old and frail from the night,

her dreams falling left and right,

the man finally showed a single emotion,

a snarl upon his lip in satisfaction,

as the starlight finally faded and the windblown kisses

blew through the cracks where her soul was splintered,

and still she stood there, beneath the night

sinking slowly beneath the earth, to lie in wait

for the light and warmth to thaw her sweet frozen prince.

She stayed inside the cavern the earth had made

with her tiara balanced just so with smudges of dirt

and stains of grass upon her dress,

mourning her love and her life and wishing and praying

and making new songs for the universe to hear,

sending her love in wave after wave

til one day her prince will remember

and rescue her from her melancholy.

Fantasy

When the stars were shining

I was lying in the dark

arms spread wide

fingers tracing patterns on the sheets

and I had the music playing

the song it makes me think

of you standing at the door

and how my heart would pound

in tandem with each slow kncok

against the wood

and my lips are throbbing

and my knees are weak

and I can’t get enough air

Oh, what would I do

if I found you there

so fucking hot you set the air on fire

just waiting

and would I burn in the hell of your eyes

turn to ash with the searing heat of your lips?

The fan it lazily pushes the air above me

while the window is open

and I wish it was your fingertips

and your lips brushing kisses

across my naked skin

as I’m heavy and slow and lethargic

lost in the feeling

and this is me dreaming

of you

with your breath in my ear

my fingers buried in your hair

and speaking in tongues.

My fantasies are safe

buried  in the dark

the stars illuminating

this forbidden dream of you.

 

 

Silent Night

And in the night

when the world is silent

and the air is heavy

you can’t sleep

you just sit and feel

with the bedroom light

softly illuminating all your fears

and the silence softly tears

as a car passes

slowly through the dark street

Your heart is screaming

and your hands are shaking

The world shifting and shaping around you

absorbing and reflecting all the demons

haunting the shadows behind your eyes

And on the wall a fire grows

They dance and They smile

and they mock and they tease

and you beg on your knees

“Please!”

“please..”

“Don’t leave me all alone.”

And the misery is staining the bed sheets

A place you used to breathe

and dreams they encouraged

you to take a leap and jump

and fly……

And so you did

and you were real

but this is the silence in the night

and you sit there shaking

and you remember

how that arrow struck

and you were left behind

and you cried out “No!”

But there was no one left to listen

and in this darkness where you sit

clutching at the silence with trembling fingers

you sit there with your demons

and they’re your only friends

as you scream and laugh and cry

but inside your bones already dust

and your heart is gone without a trace

and you’re less than a faded memory

hanging on the clothesline and dancing in the breeze

somewhere between death

and the welcome disruption of hell.