I’d apologize

I would

I’d apologize forever

about this sadness

but its an infection

I caught it quite by accident

I asked a simple question

quite the most catastrophic thing I’ve ever done

and now its swept into my bloodstream

and I have a fever

delirious with its fire

I kept myself quite busy today

trying to fight it off

I packed up all of you

littering all this space

and I put you into bags

and my body heavy and aching

I carried you around the corner

and across the parking lot

to toss you up and over

it wasn’t so hard

but I weakened my body further

and I’m so sick with all of this

this infection is growing stronger

the sadness just tearing me down

and I just breathe in and out

my eyes staring straight ahead

and I stared at you for two years straight

memorizing every line of your face

and how you were perfect in every angle

and when you smiled I was ok

and today I threw you away

I tried to throw myself away

just to stay close to you

but with a prick of an answer

you made me sick

and I’m laying here dying

precious life a waste of time

when will it end?

How does life go on without you in it?

This is not what I meant

Omg this is not what I meant

and I would take those words away

throw them in some dark abyss

and lean in close for just one more kiss

this sadness invaded and enveloped

and now I’m just a shadow of myself

I’d apologize for being sick

but I never saw it coming

and I didn’t duck

and it didn’t miss

 

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