Hope to die

I once had a dream

we were taking a walk

the sun was high

and the air was warm

the pavement beneath our feet

soundless as we lazily meandered

no destination in mind

as I held your hand

and you smiled

as you looked at me

as though I made you happy

and as you threw your head back and laughed

I fell back

behind

just a couple steps

to watch and bask

and dream

just a little daydream

and before I knew it

the sun was falling

and the air was growing chilly

and there was a door just ahead

and as you looked back and held your hand out

you stepped forward

and I saw a change

as though you were now part of the galaxy

and everything was part of you

the moon and all the stars

and the dark of space clung to  you like skin

and you were happy

I tried to follow you

but I had to stay behind

and through that doorway I watched you

its not my time

not yet

but soon I will follow you

my skin dark and sparkling with starlight

and we will be eternal

and never ending

for now I sit and wait

watching

loving you from here

while you are there

and time is not matter

just a door through dimensions

where we will meet again and again

and every night

separated

miles and

oceans

I endeavor to dream this dream

a silent deadly hope

buried in my brain

and burning in my heart.

Night Star

The star girl broke away from the cluster

and gently stepped onto the earth

A place she never belonged to be

But she was lonely

and looking for a home

And as the sun would rise

so then would she

And each day her hours grew darker

and she felt she made a mistake

as her loneliness grew heavier

so she would stand at night

and stare at the stars

but there was a song and a melody

that played as tears streamed down her cheeks

that said to stay

everything would be ok

and one day after the sun was high in the sky

she was in the wrong place

in the wrong time

and her essence was shining bright

and the boy who lived in the night

came, and he stood across the way

bathed in the light of day

and as the star girls gaze met his

she knew that finally she had found her home

and she couldn’t take her eyes off him

and they stayed and stared

until the sun slipped past the horizon

and she turned away

and he turned away

and the night felt so right

but upon the sun’s next rising

she returned and waited

and sure enough her boy would come

and they would stand and stare and dreams would bleed

as her heart would cry out for a taste

and his hands would clench for a touch

but the days were never right

they needed the night

and the darkness

and heavy air perfumed with nocturnal blooms

and one night

as she turned away

expecting him to do the same

he followed after

and traced her footsteps with his heavy tread

her heart raced as she slowed and stopped

and she could barely breathe as he stood

just so close she could feel his breath

as it made the hair at her nape dance

and she leaned back

ever so slightly

and they touched

as her eyes closed and she sucked in a breath

it was better than she ever knew it could be

opening her eyes she turned

molding her curves to his hard planes

she stared into his eyes that deceived

they told of lighter things

but here they embraced in the night

and as her lips were caught by his

she breathed him in as his hand came up

and slid across her skin

trailing up her neck and across her cheek

to push into her hair where he could hold her

and tightly he held her as he tried to promise her lighter things

but she only made the darkness he was made of darker

and she burned brighter and hotter until he was nothing but the dark

and they were perfect in the night

and as the sun began to burn

they slowly broke apart

to stand and stare

and she was the last star to fade in the morning light

and he turned to go

he was made of darker things

didn’t belong in the light

and he began his lonely trek back

until he felt his star girls hand in his

and she belonged where he was.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Empty Night

the girl awoke, sometime in the middle of the night.

She awoke to sweaty sheets and cold air,

and the empty bed.

The girl wandered around the empty rooms,

empty.

And when the girl stepped outside for a smoke,

she listened to the empty night.

And she was awake.  More awake than she’d been.

Leaving the dreams of girlhood behind.

Awake and lonely in the night,

the girl forgave the lie the earth had gave her.

Lies of passion that warmed her blood.

The girl forgave hope, for ever being constant.

She forgave herself for dreaming for so long.

She forgave the words the people spoke.

She forgave the world for telling her of love.

For in the empty cold aired night,

awake and silent, she listened to her heart.

The girl listened to the echoes of the lies she had told herself.

The lies she wrapped around herself and colored her vision.

And she stepped away from the hazy daydream world.

The girl looked into the eyes of when she became.\

Abandoning the warmth and the light,

she let the ice and cold cover her and fill her lungs.

Standing and staring into forever, the dark her home.

 

Fairy tale

And the girl was left there in the night

dreaming and wishing and whispering prayers,

A tiara of fantasy adorned her noble head

and the starlight reminisced and wept throughout her soul.

and out there in the night, the wind blew kisses

landing softly on her pretty lips.

but it was the moonlight that gave her away

as it swam and shimmered glowing in her tears.

And somewhere there were eyes empty and cold that watched

and she prayed the walls would disappear,

but the shadows grew longer as the walls grew higher

and she shivered in the cold where she made her wishes

but the man remained still and cold, only watching.

And when she grew old and frail from the night,

her dreams falling left and right,

the man finally showed a single emotion,

a snarl upon his lip in satisfaction,

as the starlight finally faded and the windblown kisses

blew through the cracks where her soul was splintered,

and still she stood there, beneath the night

sinking slowly beneath the earth, to lie in wait

for the light and warmth to thaw her sweet frozen prince.

She stayed inside the cavern the earth had made

with her tiara balanced just so with smudges of dirt

and stains of grass upon her dress,

mourning her love and her life and wishing and praying

and making new songs for the universe to hear,

sending her love in wave after wave

til one day her prince will remember

and rescue her from her melancholy.

Miss Me?

I miss you

In the dark

and I imagine

you’re somewhere

lying in your mountains

Breathing in the magic

and swallowing the stars

and I wonder

sometimes upon occasion if

you miss me too?

I wonder if it drives you crazy

and you want fly across the night sky

to find me, once and for all?

and how would my eyes fare

in the blinding light of day

to find you had come all this way?

Dazzling kaleidoscopes of you

broken fragments of a million fantasies,

I think I’d hold my breath as you tied me up

and dragged me through

all this space that’s clouded up

what’s between my heart and you.

I’d wait just a second more,

just until my galaxy crashed into yours.

I think your gravity would spin me dizzy

until I’m not sure of anything anymore.

My cheek pressed against your chest

and floating gently on the river of time.

I’m hoping you miss me too and dream of me in ecstasy.

 

Tidal waves

I dreamed of times of lying in the grass

and the rain was falling on either side of me

where the sun fell upon my face

and I spread my arms to where the rain

gently fell upon my fingertips.

I laid like this a while, as time was slowly slipping past

and the air was softly blowing words to me

carrying me far away to a place I was glad to go

where I was a tidal wave crashing into everything.

God, and then there were tenterhooks dragging into me

trying like the damned to bring me down

and the pain was scraping and tearing me

as I scrambled and climbed desperate to be free.

I grabbed into the muddied grass and held on tight

and I breathed through the waves of time crashing over me

anxious for the rain to pass over me

and I felt myself rising higher and higher

taking everything I could see and burying it inside of me

and once I was full with destroying everything

I vanished back into the horizon just a girl upon the grass

the rain on either side of me  and anxious to see

what another day will bring to me.

 

 

Music is life

I like to close my eyes

and see your words

manifest in meaning

understand on a deeper level

send me to the sea

and I’m basking in the sun

with the cold blue water

lapping along the outer edges

the universe that is my body

Dual release and fragments of reality

Up and down and spun out

on a flower petal

Riding those strings

bouncing around like waves

up and down and stretched out tight

snapping in and out in the breeze

and the water falls and splashes hard

a deluge of beats per second

Percussion hits so loud

and we’re the world

coming together and we’re remembering

how we were one

a dandelion blowing apart

and the melody flows

up and down and swaying back and forth

whispers of secrets that pass the night

and in my dreams I’m waiting to hear the sounds

breathless and aching

Take me to that other place…..