Until the suck and pull

Became too much

And when I couldn’t break


The surface for some air….


I sank and sat in the sand


At the bottom


And let the waves wash me

Cell from cell


Until I was the nothing of before






He thinks I’m a nihilist

that I don’t believe in anything

that my mind is tiny

and narrow

and small

he thinks I have no mind at all

I do believe

I believe in at least one thing

I believe in desire

There would be nothing

without desire

There would be no more than what was

there would be no now

without the beginning

there will be no end

without the beginning

and in the beginning

there was desire

desire for more

desire for something else

something that wasn’t there before

desire for a feeling

a touch a taste a smell

desire to expand into space

and a desire to fit in his heart

a desire to grow and understand

a desire for the universe

that created me to

understand my desires

I believe to desire is to be

fully conscious

fully aware

fully awake

and fully alive.

I desire more

every day

this desire created everything

with creation itself.


Dark time

Wasn’t sure I still had the talent

to turn up the heat

Since I’ve been standing in the dark

with my head turned to the echoes on the wall

and I’m standing here with a knife clutched tight

and I press it to my scorched skin and wait for you

My lungs are slow and steady filling with intent

my mind a black and focused instinct

and I’ve got patience to stand here

in the dark, and wait for you

a tiny spark inciting a fever

a scream that bounced around and settled in my nerves

A slip of the blade and there’s a drip pinging

a rhythm that beats inside this cave

An animal awakes and my eyes can see

as this dark lifts and drifts into a twilight dream

My lips curl up and my teeth are sharp

And you step so close and unaware

I can’t believe I’ve waited all this time

to devour you, and swallow you down

into this darkness of purest delighted torment.