Arriving to that doorway in my mind, I stood still. Straight ahead of me was my own damnation. I stared at this entryway. This portal. I should feel ashamed I keep playing this game. If this was my hell, I might as well enjoy it.
Looking over my shoulder, I smile that predator smile. That smile that says I know what I’m doing and so do you, but we both love the torture. You know it? Good.
I slid the tip of my tongue along the fullness of my bottom lip. I watched as you watched. I saw when your fingers slowly moved to you lips, tracing the exact path my tongue had just traveled along my own.
I waited for your breathing to hitch up. Only a little, though. I wasn’t ready yet. I held your gaze with mine. Promises being made. Bargains struck. Deals made. No going back. No running.
I began. Again, knowing it couldn’t be right. You sat there, with your fingers tracing the paths of rivers along my thigh. Again creating another fragment.
Dual awareness, the present and the future. I took a deep breath and remembered.
“I found you. Or you found me? There? Never before. But always now. Somehow, the circumference of space between us began to shrink. Become smaller. You became much larger, growing so big you were the only thing I could see.
Somehow without any conscious thought to it at all, I began to isolate myself. While you came nearer I closed all the doors around me. Until it was me and you. And this.
I wanted to suffocate from this. Let it smother me. Bury me. I wanted to know that you were here with me. That you were real. I’m real. Nothing else can be this real.
I remember I was naked and you were almost there, I tried to hide. There was no where I could go. I believe you orchestrated this dance. All the moves are your choreography. I’m spellbound.
I’m afraid and exhilarated, breathless.
Your hands are so strong, and yet your touch so light. You underscore all other sensations with your slightest touch. I’m not sure how I didn’t shatter right then.
The strength in your hand as it wrapped around my neck like a collar. Holding my head up and gaze locked on your face.
Complete control until I broke. You broke me in the most delicious way. I laughed as all the pieces fell.
You closed your eyes to mine. Inhaled deep, inhaled us. And made your point. Made sure I knew who owned me. Branded me and labeled me.
With one last thrust, you declared with your seed, “You are mine!!”.
As you straightened up and readied to leave, our eyes met.
I won this round.”