In the Middle

How’s come, now that I’m a little older and a tiny bit wiser, I’m hearing things and seeing things that I never saw before?

Having had such utter lack of respect for everything there is to perceive in this world, I’m stuck outside the door.

I’ve run around in circles oblivious to the world right before my very eyes. My realization, ignorance is not bliss.

I can’t compare myself and expect a certain level of satisfaction to exist, when all my silent world is always this.

Its time now, to take that next step.  Find the ledge and jump right off that motherfucker.

Let it all go and disappear without a whisper.

There’s smoke trails where I once existed.

Happier now than I’ve ever been, I want you to know it was always you.  That demon in my ear.  The bleeding in my heart.

I dance now, awake and alive with the poison of a snakes venomous kiss.

I feel this burn beneath my skin, pulling my insides together.

I’m one enormous raw nerve who is trapped in this pleasure pain duality.

And I’m stuck somewhere between here and when I left and disappeared.

Hmm, I didn’t know there was a middle, I didn’t know that this torture would be my heaven.  My home.

Here I am, glad to be dead of that world and alive in this one.

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Mind’s Eye

I can’t tell you what to think

or paint the pictures in your mind

I can only write what words I know

and hope you  find a link

a destination or a memory

or just a feeling you once had

while kneeling on this great blue earth

or getting high and letting go

two lovers hand in hand

But damn, to see what you have seen

and go where you have been

travelling through these murky lands

of distant worlds and spilling sands

and sailing through these towering waves

and lying in those flower beds

You only see what you have known

and I only write what I can see.

 

Flow

Kicked out

lost on this orbit

no tracks

seldom any paths

a glimmer of hope

passing by

the setting sun

set out into this space

a rock that slowly turns

around elliptical circles

captured loops

and stunning bubbles

forced motion

trapped with no way out

struggling for breath

when home is not here

far into the night

remembering

beginning and ending

on this blueness

sinking under

never knowing

the freedom flowing

across the sacred sky

 

Beast

 

The beast laid out his cards

and I’ve failed again.

Astonished, amazed, dumbfounded.

The beast lead’s the way

and I follow him again.

Betrayed, exposed, seduced.

The beast, he has his ways

and I’m ignited again.

Lost, off track, disoriented

The beast means business

and I’m giving in.

Hunger, famine, voracious

The beast doesn’t wait

and I’m devoured.

Exalted, exultant, rapturous

The beast has no mercy

and I’m consenting.

Submissive, repentant, success

the beast tears in to me

and I’m awake.

Suckling, nursing, consuming.

The beast is fierce

and I am his.

Slipping, sliding, and slithering.

The beast is insidious

and I’m breathless.

Aroused, triggered, sparked.

The beast is euphoric

and I am undone.

Desecrated, descended, disrupted.

 

Tiny thinks

Remember when you were there so far away?  And I was there just dreaming of you?   How many stars were wished upon?  How many hours were spent in thoughts of you?

Every night I’d place a kiss and a wish inside a paper plane and throw it wide into the space and time that separated me from you.

Every day I’d smile and converse, strangling the words of loneliness trying to slip past my lips.

Every moment a wish in time.  This need.  This ache.  This devotion.

And here we are.  In the nights, making wishes come true.  Pouring ancient and primordial ecstasies back in to the universe.

Creating new cosmic masterpieces of song and joy. Stretching out and folding back in.  Encircling this space and time with the melody of you and me.

Fire in my heart

I saw you, standing out past the horizon

Where forever turned into infinity

Bigger than all the life I knew

Taking steps away from this platform

Intent and desire the same breathing fire

With every step away from there

The distance remained the same

I reached the point I thought you were

At that start of forever

I stepped into this great abyss

this chasm that never ended

and always there in front of me

I walked until forever

I stumbled through a galaxy

named a star for you

Pushed forward through the dust that hides

and shields your light from view.

And every time I thought we touched

there you were, standing at the start

This intergalactic race that has no end

this fire in my heart.