I’m yours

I’m yours when I’m pressed

Skin to skin

And my curves are melting into

Hard unyielding flesh

And when I close my eyes

My fingertips trace every inch

And all that I have memorized

I feel the scruff of your beard

As it grows against your jawline

And I’m pressing kisses to that spot

On your neck

The spot by your ear

The one I always lick

And I trace your brows

And the length of your nose

And when we kiss

And I’m kissing your lips

And your tongue is touching

Mine

My fingers are in your hair

And on .your chest

And my fingers are grabbing your ass

And I’m pulling you closer

As my cool skin slides against

Hot burning skin

And I’m breathing you in

Every breath of you

And I’m worshipping

That grin

A smirk

A look in your eye

Your eyebrow raised

in that way you do

And then you’re inside

My body

And my eyes are closed

And you’ve claimed

my soul

With your hand

at my throat

Eyes half closed

Your other hand

Tearing into my hip

Inside my body

My soul is yours

My heart your shoes

My eyes are closed

Cuz I’m worshipping you

I’m all yours

And you’re the sun

And I’m a dew kissed blade of grass

And you are my intention

My reason

My obsession

My poison

And I am simply

Yours

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Can I wear this just a bit longer?

Tears as vibrant as a slash of red lipstick

Sorrow as blue as the sky

Broken pieces lying on the floor?

Can I wear it with a dignity deep as a river

A burn of sun-kissed skin

An echo of a story old as time

Cold fingers trailing the fence line

Can I stay here just a bit longer

Where love was a smile

Just another song on the radio?

A whisper of how we used to touch?

Can I stay inside the lie I believed

A forever pouring out of me

The night sky spinning around me?

Can I stay here for just a bit more

Waking in your favor

Sighing I love you tomorrow past my lips?

I’m letting it pour out of me

But there was so much

So much more

So let me sit, just a minute more

Reflections of bruises

All I have left.

Ambient soul

Does it bother you, with my insomniac heart

To think of your ambient nostalgic soul?

Does it hurt, when my mind lingers on a tattered page too long?

Are you exorcised with every panicked breath?

If I slide my paper cut finger across my lips, will you feel it?

If I was a fire burning out of control, would you let me swallow you whole?

Just one last time, would you let me be so bold to worship you?

Kneel before you and beseech you with my tongue?

Scrape my teeth against your skin?

Would you close your eyes and sigh?

Would you look me in the eyes?

Take your pleasure while my fingertips traced sorrow along your spine?

Would you tell me your coming with your breath in my mouth?

Would you let me love you with despair in my heart?

Could you forgive me? My insomniac heart?

Starts and stops

How many how many how many

Starts and stops and stuttering breaths

Starts and stops my heart thumping in my chest

Starts and stops and I’m reconciling reconciling reconciling there’s nothing left

How many starts and stops before it stops

Licking the tears from off my lips

How many starts and stops and I’m hesitating breath trapped in my lungs

How many how many how many days til I can see anything but your face

Starts and stops sunlight filtering through the trees

Puckered clenching throbbing racing through my veins

Start the day

Stop the day

Start the day

Stop the day day day

Pull my blanket over my face

Stop the day

Thinking of other things

“I’m waiting” he said.

“For what?”

“For you to grow a brain.” I traced his perfect lips with my lingering gaze.

The way he forms the words and pushes them away with breath and tongue.

“To think of other things.” His beautiful dark eyes begging me to understand.

But how? What other things are so important?

When his beauty is a sonnet that throbs within me.

What other things are as captivating as the feel of his skin against mine?

What other things are better than studying the way he breathes

Or if his nostrils flare when he’s angry

Or how I feel when he’s inside me

Or how he laughs and his eyes crinkle just so

What else is more important than understanding what eternity feels like when he’s holding my hand

And what is more important than I am more me when I am breathing his air

And can someone please tell me what other things are more important than understanding this universe that made me made me for him?

And when I feel the vibration of the universe’s answer to my prayers coming through the speakers, what is better than being reminded I gave away my heart and soul?

What can I think of that’s more important than the way my molecules have come to be so that I can lay with my feet pressed to his feet?

What’s more important than forgetting about ego and just being?

Adrift in the chaos of the expanding universe and I am eternally his?

So, I try to think of other things.

How the butterflies have come and sip the nectar from the flowers by day.

How the ground feels soft beneath my feet after it rains.

How I enjoy the smiles of strangers I meet in the store.

Wondering what memories that drop of water holds as its fallen apart and reformed over and over since the beginning of time.

How that child will eventually grow into a man and I hope his heart is strong enough to survive it.

But nothing feels more important than remembering how time split open and my soul was his and he was mine and I saw forever swaying back and forth in his eyes.

I’m not ready

I don’t think I’m right for this

You see?

It’s like a wave is crashing over me

And darkness is all that I can see

And I’m not fighting this

I don’t want to break the surface

Set myself free

I’m loving being drowned

Loving that I love him

And I’m in a certain current

And the world is spinning around me

And here I have the choice

To kick up and reach a hand for help

Or stay beneath

Being slowly crushed to death

Eyes closed tight

and I can almost taste his lips

Heartbeat a steady rhythm

And I can almost feel his breath

So, no, I’m not right for this

And there’s no obligation

that I should live

Without all this

And I’m not coming up for air

When I can almost see his face…