I dreamed a little dream

I came to sing to you a pretty rhyme

a lilting melody that made me think of you

and we were standing in the place

of heavy sinking stones

You kissed me like you owned me

slid your chains right through my bones

and you placed me in the room

where the ceiling was falling fast

each moment without you the air dry and flaky

I escaped to be beside you

and you smiled and kissed me

and your eyes told me I should run

but there I stayed

The chains you jerked they scraped and broke

what was inside of me as you dragged me through the dark

to tie me up and bind me

scrape and scratch and brand me

and there I reveled in the pain

and I bit my lips as I moaned and I screamed and your pleasure grew

and this darkness spread

and in the distance in another crumbling room

another voice was moaning and crooning and singing songs

that weaved the spells I fell under as you licked and bit and pulled

and somewhere I found there was no light left

as your dry and cracked lips captured mine

and with every thrust and grunt and scream and tear

my life’s blood fell upon your altar

The place I longed to stay and worship

but I laid my bloody body bare

and offered you my pleasure as I took it

when you ate my heart

my last breath a scream as you used the chains to draw me up

and used your claws to slice me up and you owned me

mind body and soul

and the bodies were writhing in ecstasy with your powerful roar

and you ripped me limb from limb

and there it was

a tiny piece of heaven

as you threw me bloody and broken

to the dirty floor

in the place of sinking stones

the place you claimed me

and owned me with your lips.

I could have run and I should have run,

I should have lived to see another day

and instead I stayed and succumbed to the pleasure and the pain

and they all watched as you made my blood rain

and my screams were lightning bolts as your laughter and your groans

were the thunder and the wind.

I died and you were still inside.

I died and you were still inside.

 

 

 

 

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Til the end of time

I realized how we move through time and space.

How we weave a path and flow inside and outside.

How every so often from now until forever we will come back together.

Always at this point and that one we are destined to be.

But we will part and flow in opposite directions, always out there, at exactly the same linear line.

Until we curve back around and slowly slide together.

Until we meet and move through each other.

You and I, we’re destined for forever.

And at the end of forever we’ll turn around and see the picture we have made throughout eternity.

And we’ll stand there at the end of time souls entwined. Together. And nothing else will matter.

Bring it Back

they had all disappeared

all the flowers

and color was fading

running away

to find the sun

and there I was

in this picture

shapes and a hot breeze

and nothing there to guide me

and show me the way

the sound had died long ago

I was lost and pining for the world

I used to know

Landscapes full of wonder

and treasure buried in the clouds

the song and hum and chirps

from earth to me

gone and going

and I was lost

afraid to move and follow along

afraid I’d lose this memory

and soon I would fade

disappear and try to find the sun

I held out my hand and traced

horizons with my fingertips

and screamed into the nothing

that was absorbing everything

I screamed so long I felt like dying

until a fleck of blood erupted

and flew and splashed across the sky

Magic and I breathed in fury

as I fought to dream again

there, at the end of my hand

far along this arching line

earth and sky met and there they sang

and my fingertips created fire

that bled into the red

the colors I refused to let go

and the nothing began to creep

as I began to cry, teardrops fell

and oceans began to howl

where the the blue of my sorrow

began to fill and the skies were perfect

mirrors cocooning this transformation

and others began to spill back into the picture

and we began to sing and fill the nothing with sound

and painted the earth back with love.

We all began to sway and twirl and dance

got the galaxy back on track.

And with every breath we pushed and shoved

and made the nothing into something,

a retreating shadow.  A memory of what never was,

and when we dreamed, the moon came back and

added the suck and hiss of a farewell kiss.

Life came back and we tended to it.

Embraced it and loved it.

We just had to remember the words

the words that build and shape

and create.  Life and love, hope and a reason to dream.

Last Song

My other half and myself were having a discussion the other morning as I brought him home and away from work.

What is the last song you want to hear before you go deaf?

I couldn’t think of it, not right then.  And I’ve been thinking and listening to all the songs I love.

Not only do I love, but I obsess and I crave the feelings invoked inside, and how some songs can time travel with you.

To places and time that stand still and are branded deep inside and somehow transform you into the human you’re going to be.

You never know what bit of magic you get to keep.  You never know where it’s going to come from, and sometimes, you forget you ever had it.

This song, to me is perfect in every single way.  The strings, the lyrics, the melody.  Every thing about it takes me back to when I was just a girl beginning to dream.

I can remember sunshine and lying in the dead brown grass in summer.  Dreaming and wishing for escape.  I needed a way out of my life.  And so I built dreams of castles and knights and love.  Adventures where love always wins the day.

I needed to believe after all the hell I had lived, that somewhere I belonged and someplace I was meant to be.  I needed to believe in love without conditions and jealousy and constant neglect.

I needed to believe in me.

And somewhere inside there is this song and its always there.  In all my dreams and fantasies.

Weirdly, this is the last song I would ever wish to hear.  Every note, and every word.  Fade out slowly as my hearing goes.  This song makes me heavy in the center and light everywhere else.

The little girl inside of me who will never grow up, she still dreams.  I hope she never stops.

 

 

 

 

 

Missing Pieces

It started as a simple search

I lifted it and looked underneath

I moved it over and tipped it

I crawled through the grass

stood out in the middle

of nowhere and waited for a sign

I thought maybe the rain would bring it

and I played in the mud puddles

a glance through a window

and the song of the winds

many hints and useful clues

And through the years

I kept up my search

waiting for it to turn up

out of the blue

least expected

and mostly anticipated

And just at the moment

I had given up

it had never surfaced

time had sped by

and with a ping and a bing

I felt it

and It made sense

that it was hiding

all this time

part of it was stuck in you

only to reveal

as you held me

I was the missing piece

and I was here all along.  🙂

 

 

 

 

Intentions

“And what if he spoke in nothing but riddles and rhymes?  What then, Madam Mayhem?”

“I would try to understand what he wasn’t saying and unlock the puzzle box he’s created to hide in.”

“What if, when you dug around and unlocked the box, you found there was nothing inside?”

“I would say, there’s no such thing as nothing and I wasn’t looking hard enough.”

“And what if, Madam Mayhem, with  all your questions and all your experiments and all your time, you killed him?”

“What if, Sir Doubt, that was my intention all along?  What if, as I was driving him closer to the edge, tearing into him and betraying what was left of his humanity, I was finding me?  What if, as he died, I followed him into that other plane?”

“I would say, Madam Mayhem, that you would truly be happy as long as you were both insane!!!”

Tired

I’m so tired

and I’m wide awake

and I’m afraid I’m dreaming

and I think when I wake up

I’ll be right where I’ve always been

and I can’t live with this knowledge

that everything inside of me

Is nothing.

The sky, the earth

my love and my fear

and your eyes and your arms

and your love.

And the certainty

that when the sun rises

and the morning begins

I die again.