Panic

I don’t have a single clue

none

I have no idea what I am doing in this life

Mostly I’m oblivious to this state

but I’m thinking and afraid I’m lost again

I’m nearly in a panic

my chest is tight and I can feel my breath

disappearing

I want to run and I want to hide away

turn the world’s lights off

I need your touch to ground me

I need you to pull me into your arms

safety

I just want to stop bouncing around

Stop this war between my head and my heart

Just tell me its okay

Make me believe again one more time

peace

More Than

It can’t all be just sex

not when it’s mostly about love

and this chaos in the heart

It’s not just hands and lips and thighs

not always .

Not when I’m happy and free

not when I’m in this heaven

That’s why its more than your breath and your sweat

and feel of your skin on mine

it’s that glimpse into the infinite

letting the tides of the unknown just pull me away

trusting that I will always find my solid ground

and when you touch me, oh when you touch me

it is so much more than the kisses and bites and

the way you do that thing and I’m lost in the moment and

you hold me close until I’m seeing stars

It’s being one mind or being one mindlessly or

mindlessly being of one mind

lost in space.

For a time.

 

 

Your Words

I like your way with words.

How they flow right through my mind

and I can hear this voice

This hammering and punching

your words beat right through me

and I’m scared you’ve trapped me

into your way of thinking

syllables that slither up and strike me

and the power that inflames and binds me

I’m a slave to your words

to your rhythm that inspires me

and I can’t help but to sit and listen

as the spells you weave are finding

all these secret thoughts and feelings

I’m helpless to these murmurings

this litany that I’ve memorized

So as I sleep I have your voice

rumbling like thunder

a cascade of endless throbs

and I can’t filter out the meaning

without this subtle screaming

of your words as they pass through

this night of endless dreaming

Blizzard

I love the wintriness of today.  It’s beautiful.  Everything is heavy.  The silence is the heaviest of all.

This silence that speaks of everything having this chance to slow down and take it easy all together.

I don’t know.  I think there’s a magic to days like today.  When it carries this barren empty calm.

Days like today when I’m all boxed in, no expectations.  All worries done for just the now, and I am fucking happy.

There’s a certain cold clarity.  It simply does not allow for lies, and you’re forced to see the truth.

A day you can worry, or let it go.  Be in this moment and believe, that if you’re lucky, tomorrow really is just another day.

I’m taking today off.  I’m not going to worry.  I will enjoy the time of this one day.  Because I have it.

Time Well Spent

and the sonnets were blooming across the pages of my days

when your lips were pressing their secrets into my skin

and the guitars were were languidly seducing my sunsets

as your fingertips traced the heritage of time along my spine

and the violins were gently mourning the innocence of my dreams

as your body sang the songs of light found dancing within my soul.

Distracted

Why this need inside

and this desire

and this hopeless hapless compunction

to spell this out

compelled to flow outside and divide

an estuary

crashing from tips

and strips the simple

muddies up and clears the way

all these words that cannot stay

an inhale followed by exhale

a force pulling and pushing creating voids

of once poised and pointed guards

that were once fixed to stand aside

wound up tight with information

sounding out the shapes

forming all the images

whispering broken threads that once sang

pure

falling in this frequency

charged and sweeping endlessly

finding that the answer

nearly naked and invisible

emerged and identified

securing specific communications

and closed the gap of forever

twisting determinedly

successfully mapping and coding

this ending to my beginning

starting somewhere in the middle

swimming through this dark

to touch the light.

 

 

 

 

Bitch

I’m a bitch because you say so

a stupid bitch who doesn’t know how to think

exceptionally vast and devoid of thought or action

sign me up for nothing for the next thousand years

I’m a bitch because you say I am

Just a stupid bitch

stripped of feeling washed of life

send me to your gallows, the only thing I deserve

string this stupid bitch up and tie another knot into the rope

make it stronger with your lies

this stupid bitch can’t form her words

this stupid bitch is only good for your disapproval

Pack my bags and send me away

is there a special place for stupid bitches?

Do we get awards or gold stars?

Maybe a lobotomy because we’re crazy too

Oh, to win that lottery….

Would it kill the demon in mind?

Could it erase all thought of you?

What’s fair is fair, and I will be walking there

feet bare, head high

Make me the queen of all stupid bitches

You bury me with your venom and your poison

You kill the light that shines within me

you make me hate that I love you

and if I stay?

I’ve learned nothing and I’m your stupid bitch anyway.