What if

And even when you had me at my lowest, I still believed.

I believed with my heart, but my brain was still split in two.

I couldn’t make sense of anything.

Not even you.

And when you held me down, I still had hope.

I hoped with all my soul, but I couldn’t hold on to a single moment.

Can’t it just be enough that I want you.  I’ll never be enough.

I feel like I could have made better choices.  But, really?

What choice did I even have?

Sure, there were other options.  I had plenty.

And even in the face of this diversity,

I still chose this path.

As though, I was a lone piece of sand, thrown into the universe

on this one trajectory, only to end up here with you.

That’s the only sense I can make of it.  Nothing cosmically tragic happened.

But, what if something had happened?

Would the shift had been so wide and vast I wouldn’t have even noticed?

Would that one small bump in time have been so small?

What if my chosen trajectory had shifted, and I had no way of knowing.

Would I still be just as perfectly happy?

I am perfectly happy.  That is terrifying.

Knowing just one thing could throw it all away.

One tiny thing.


Author: doing2016

I started writing when I was very young. Then I was mortified on a bus full of people when one of my stories was read aloud. I lost my focus and quit. Now, I'm trying to find my voice and my ambition. I love to write, good or bad. So, I'm doing it here and now. Thank you.

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