And even when you had me at my lowest, I still believed.
I believed with my heart, but my brain was still split in two.
I couldn’t make sense of anything.
Not even you.
And when you held me down, I still had hope.
I hoped with all my soul, but I couldn’t hold on to a single moment.
Can’t it just be enough that I want you. I’ll never be enough.
I feel like I could have made better choices. But, really?
What choice did I even have?
Sure, there were other options. I had plenty.
And even in the face of this diversity,
I still chose this path.
As though, I was a lone piece of sand, thrown into the universe
on this one trajectory, only to end up here with you.
That’s the only sense I can make of it. Nothing cosmically tragic happened.
But, what if something had happened?
Would the shift had been so wide and vast I wouldn’t have even noticed?
Would that one small bump in time have been so small?
What if my chosen trajectory had shifted, and I had no way of knowing.
Would I still be just as perfectly happy?
I am perfectly happy. That is terrifying.
Knowing just one thing could throw it all away.
One tiny thing.